16 July 2011

For Men Only by Jeff & Shaunti Feldhahn

Wow! This is as great as her other book, For Women Only. 

For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women

The things I learned from FWO were life-changing and have stuck with me. 

It was so life-changing I knew I had to get this book (FMO). 
And, yes, I read it myself. I read it because I wanted to be sure that Hubs understood which responses truly reflected ME. 

As I read I highlighted all that had meaning to me and I asked Hubs to read it in that context. It really helped us even though communication is a strong point in our marriage. It's that good! I would recommend both books to people wanting to better understand relationships.

Here are the chapter titles:

1 Rethinking Random (Why You Need a New Map of the Female Universe)

2 The Deal is Never Closed (Why Her "I do" Will Always Mean "Do You?"~ And What To Do About It

3 Windows...Open! (What You Should Know About the Fabulous Female Brain (A Guide for Lower Life Forms))

4 Your Real Job is Closer to Home (How Your Provider/Protector Instinct Can Leave Her Feeling More Unsafe and Less Cared For)

5 Listening IS the Solution (Why Her Feeling About the Problem is the Problem, and How to Fix Your Urge to Fix)

6 With Sex, Her "No" Doesn't Mean You (How Her Desires Are Affected by Her Unique Wiring, And Why Your Ego Shouldn't Be)

7 The Girl in the Mirror ( What the Little Girl Inside Your Woman is Dying to Hear From You~ And How to Guard Your Answer Well)

8 The Man She Had Hoped to Marry (What the Woman Who Loves You Most, Most Wants You to Know 

You can read the first chapter online here:

I LOVED the way the Feldhahns explained the differences in the ways men and women think. I tend to be very analytical, which tends to be a trait of men more than women. Even so...I am much better at multi-tasking (Hubs just can't do it) and sometimes feel that I have to multi-task in order to get anything done. 

My husband read this book while our kids and I were traveling for four weeks without him on an international vacation. When we returned home to him we discussed the book and his reading of it. He was amazed at the fact that my responses to many of the questions was outside the norm. I was SO glad I had highlighted MY responses. Even though we know each other extremely well I think his reading of the book without highlights could have muddied things for us. Since I indicated my responses for every topic he was left with NO question as to how I felt about each item. And he felt very fortunate with regard to some of my responses. He knows that I love our sex-life but now he knows that I tend to enjoy sex more than most women seem to. He appreciates that I am different in that regard.

The depth of this book is unbelievable. Even if marriage/intimacy books are not really your thing you may still gain tremendous insights from this book.

For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men by Shaunti Feldhahn

EXCELLENT. My husband and I are VERY similar and communicate wonderfully but this opened my mind to a couple things which I will always see differently from now on. 

This is my FAVORITE marriage/intimacy-related book.
For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men

Even a read through the titles will give you a glimpse at the depth of the contents of this book:

1 Lightbulb On! (How I Woke Up To What I Didn't Know About Men)

2 Your Love is Not Enough (Why Your Respect Means More to Him Than Affection)

3 The Performance of a Lifetime (Why Your Mr. Smooth Looks so Impressive but Feels Like an Imposter)

4 The Loneliest Burden (How His Need to Provide Weighs your Man Down, And Why He likes It That Way)

5 Sex Changes Everything (Why Sex Unlocks a Man's Emotions (Guess Who Holds the Key?))

6 Keeper of the Visual Rolodex (Why it's So Natural For Him to Look and So Hard to Forget 
What He's Seen)

7 Chocolate, Flowers, Bait Fishing (Why the Reluctant Clod you Know Really Does Want Romance)

8 The Truth About the Way You Look (Why What's on the Outside Matters to Him on the Inside)

9 Words for your Heart (What Your Man Most Wishes You Knew About Him)

This is NOT a book written by a woman even though the author is a woman.

This book was written by doing a great amount of research and asking MEN what there responses to marriage/intimacy-related questions would be. The author then compiled the results and explains them in depth.

The major insight I gained from reading this title was financially related.

I asked Hubs if he felt the way that was described in the book (on that particular topic)...
He replied "Yes. Without a doubt. It never leaves my mind." This means that first and foremost he sees himself as a provider.

From that moment my approach to our family's expenditures changed drastically even though I never felt I was far outside any bounds. He noticed my changes immediately and told me so. One thing we used to occasionally argue about just a bit was...finances. 
No more.

Now, there are still times when there is more month left than money but Hubs knows that I do my best to budget our spending so that he doesn't have to worry about things.


Even if you have never read a book on marriage and intimacy you might really enjoy this selection. Its depth and frankness is tremendous. It's my favorite book in this category, for women.

Read the first chapter here:

Biographies...do you have any favorites?

Cash: The Autobiography

I love reading biographies/autobiographies. My favorites are of film/tv actors and popular musicians, especially those who were famous from the 40s through the 60s.

Here are some that I've read, including my rating out of 5*, in ascending order of my appreciation for them:

I'm Chevy Chase... and You're Not: Revised & Updated 
by Rena Fruchter 3*

I've always loved Chevy's acting.
After reading this book my lasting impression of him is that he always seemed to have an excuse when something turned out to be a box office failure; he never took ownership of any failings.

Here's the Story: Surviving Marcia Brady and Finding My True Voice 
by Maureen McCormick 3*

Maureen McCormick is not Marcia Brady.

Like a Lampshade in a Whorehouse: My Life in Comedy 
by Phyllis Diller 3*

Upon reading this I found out she became an outspoken advocate for plastic surgery. Want to see why? (here's my favorite photo of her:
http://tinyurl.com/PhyllisDillerPlayboyShoot )
(there's a hint of a nude bottom; it's more suggestive than anything)

After All 
by Mary Tyler Moore 3*

Mary's book is laid out chronologically. She doesn't sidestep any of the tough or ugly parts of her life, having come to terms with such things over the years. She has lost her niece, her son, and both of her parents, as well as having gone through two divorces. 'AfterAll' she appears to come out of it okay.

Nobody's Fool 
by Martin Gottfried 3.5*

I was disappointed by this book. Not really the book, though, as much as the subject. Danny Kaye must have been a very depressed and searching man to have behaved in the curious manner in which he did. I have to say that I am sorry that it destroyed the false vision that I had of him.

The Tom Hanks Enigma: The Biography of the World's Most Intriguing Movie Star 
by David Gardner 3.5*

The author never convinced me that he had ever spoken directly with Tom or had his permission to write the book. This is the most poorly edited book I have read in many years! The quality of book construction was also the poorest I have seen in years. Both were so severe that I contacted Amazon to give them feedback and to request the ability to send the book back for a total refund. I have to believe that my affinity for Tom Hanks must have added 1/2 to a full 1* to my review of this title.

Here's the Deal: Don't Touch Me 
by Howie Mandel 3.5*

Howie Mandel has OCD; I didn't know that before reading this book. While being a talented and loving guy he admits to not thinking through the results of his actions fairly often...and he apologizes for the things he feels he should apologize for (for the most part).

Ball of Fire: The Tumultuous Life and Comic Art of Lucille Ball 
by Stefan Kanfer 4*

 I learned a lot about Lucy, Ricky and even Cuba from this book. 

A Pirate Looks at Fifty 
by Jimmy Buffett 4.5*

I enjoyed this book a lot. It gives a lot of insight into his life.

Cash...The Autobiography 
by Johnny Cash 4.5*

Cash writes in a very relaxed, conversational tone. He told truth as he saw it without it seeming as if he was gossipping. In fact, he told most stories about himself. He was frank and open about his wrongful trek into drug abuse. He was also open about his faith in Jesus Christ as Saviour. I hope to meet him, one day, in Heaven.

Lucky Man 
by Michael J. Fox 4.5*

This selection has great depth. He explores his life in general as well as his battle with Parkinson Disease. I truly enjoyed the section about his role in the Back to the Future films.
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